Not complaining all the time . . .

This Keto business takes up a lot of time. I discovered eggs are the go-to for breakfast. I’m not into eggs enough to eat them every fricken day. So I did my due diligence and googled for other keto breakfast ideas and found grain-free oatmeal (will it taste good?) and many types of granola type breakfast “cereals” to make. Again, will they TASTE GOOD and not have weird texture? I am a cereal lover. Goddess PLEASE make these taste good!!! Reading through all these online recipes I’ve discovered it will take a good amount of time doing prep, chopping, etc.

Over the years I have looked for recipes so I wouldn’t have to put in time standing at the counter doing prep. Prep HURTS! The chopping, cutting, etc doesn’t mix well with arthritis and carpal tunnel and the standing is horrible for my hips and back. I’ve bought gadgets to use to do the prep for me, but ya can’t always use said gadget AND it makes more items to wash. Standing to wash dishes also hurts.

It really sounds like I am just a whiner, huh? I really do want to change my eating habits to diabetic healthy, but I also live with a lot of daily chronic pain. Most people really don’t understand how these common household “chores” such as cooking a meal can really hurt. It sort of defeats the purpose of wanting to eat/cook healthy if you’re in too much pain after cooking to actually eat it and also can’t get back up to do the dishes and cleanup. It really makes a person just rather not eat. Seriously, this last week I’ve been going hungry instead of cooking. It’s been a bad pain week. I’ve been eating keto bomb meal replacement bars instead. And they’re expensive. Plus, I have a pantry full of white rice, white pasta, canned vegies, and canned fruit from the food shelf that I’m apparently not supposed to eat.

It’s bad enough that I feel like a loser who can’t get things done around the house and yard that NEED done and now I’m supposed to add all this cooking prep? People with medical disabilities are simply not supposed to be poor and alone. I HATE complaining about pain, but it is a part of my life. I feel so down about myself and think of people I know with cancer or other worse than I ailments who somehow manage to get up and cook, then I feel worse. I think of all the elderly and frail people in the world who are poor and alone and I really wonder why our society doesn’t offer help unless you pay or are part of a church? I’m 23 years younger than my parents who are both in huge amounts of pain. It makes me feel like a bad daughter that I can’t be there to do things for them. I know, somehow, between the both of them they manage to cook meals. I also know that afterwords in the evenings they sit in pain. A man who spent his life using his hands to make beautiful homes and other carpentry work then driving a truck now can barely hold a book at times. Mom has to wear a battery operated heating vest at all times to help the pain she takes opiates to lessen. How do they have any kind of life? They force themselves to do, to drive, to still volunteer.

Quality of life is a huge thing. Most people take it for granted. Most people don’t have to take pain medication to function. Some people take opiates illegally and make it hard for those of us who need it to get it. My chronic pain doc again mentioned medical marijuana. I can’t afford it. Aidan’s doc mentioned it to him, too. We could get the cards, but then have to drive to Brainerd to get the products, causing more pain. Right now we’ve been taking Delta 8 gummies, since I get a discount at the store. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to work there. I need the money and their products, but this last week has been difficult to work through my pain and not show it to customers. Can’t take D8 at work, or Tramadol.

So I come home and take stuff for pain and nothing gets done around the house or yard and I can’t stand up long enough to cook. At the pool I’ve gone from pushing myself to do cardio to just trying to use the pool to help alleviate pain with slow stretches. With my glucose at 116 I have to lose weight, but exercise brings on more pain so eating different is going to have to work.

Exercise Hurts | Funny Workout" Poster by BootsBoots | Redbubble

I wonder how many times I’m going to burn and cut myself with this food prep while on Tramadol? Maybe I should just take out stock in these keto bomb meal replacement bars. I am SO very grateful to Rebecca Strong Schultz for coming to help clean the house last week. Hmmm, who wants to come help do food prep? LOL, naw, that would have to be weekly and Who can afford that? It’s OK to let the house and yard work go for a while, only I know how long the floors go without a mopping. No one else needs to know. Just know, the next time you see dirty kids in a store or drive by a yard that needs cleaned up or mowed that you have no idea what those people might be dealing with: pain and/or mental health issues. Try not to judge and maybe donate to a local nonprofit. Pain sucks.

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