Not complaining all the time . . .

This Keto business takes up a lot of time. I discovered eggs are the go-to for breakfast. I’m not into eggs enough to eat them every fricken day. So I did my due diligence and googled for other keto breakfast ideas and found grain-free oatmeal (will it taste good?) and many types of granola type breakfast “cereals” to make. Again, will they TASTE GOOD and not have weird texture? I am a cereal lover. Goddess PLEASE make these taste good!!! Reading through all these online recipes I’ve discovered it will take a good amount of time doing prep, chopping, etc.

Over the years I have looked for recipes so I wouldn’t have to put in time standing at the counter doing prep. Prep HURTS! The chopping, cutting, etc doesn’t mix well with arthritis and carpal tunnel and the standing is horrible for my hips and back. I’ve bought gadgets to use to do the prep for me, but ya can’t always use said gadget AND it makes more items to wash. Standing to wash dishes also hurts.

It really sounds like I am just a whiner, huh? I really do want to change my eating habits to diabetic healthy, but I also live with a lot of daily chronic pain. Most people really don’t understand how these common household “chores” such as cooking a meal can really hurt. It sort of defeats the purpose of wanting to eat/cook healthy if you’re in too much pain after cooking to actually eat it and also can’t get back up to do the dishes and cleanup. It really makes a person just rather not eat. Seriously, this last week I’ve been going hungry instead of cooking. It’s been a bad pain week. I’ve been eating keto bomb meal replacement bars instead. And they’re expensive. Plus, I have a pantry full of white rice, white pasta, canned vegies, and canned fruit from the food shelf that I’m apparently not supposed to eat.

It’s bad enough that I feel like a loser who can’t get things done around the house and yard that NEED done and now I’m supposed to add all this cooking prep? People with medical disabilities are simply not supposed to be poor and alone. I HATE complaining about pain, but it is a part of my life. I feel so down about myself and think of people I know with cancer or other worse than I ailments who somehow manage to get up and cook, then I feel worse. I think of all the elderly and frail people in the world who are poor and alone and I really wonder why our society doesn’t offer help unless you pay or are part of a church? I’m 23 years younger than my parents who are both in huge amounts of pain. It makes me feel like a bad daughter that I can’t be there to do things for them. I know, somehow, between the both of them they manage to cook meals. I also know that afterwords in the evenings they sit in pain. A man who spent his life using his hands to make beautiful homes and other carpentry work then driving a truck now can barely hold a book at times. Mom has to wear a battery operated heating vest at all times to help the pain she takes opiates to lessen. How do they have any kind of life? They force themselves to do, to drive, to still volunteer.

Quality of life is a huge thing. Most people take it for granted. Most people don’t have to take pain medication to function. Some people take opiates illegally and make it hard for those of us who need it to get it. My chronic pain doc again mentioned medical marijuana. I can’t afford it. Aidan’s doc mentioned it to him, too. We could get the cards, but then have to drive to Brainerd to get the products, causing more pain. Right now we’ve been taking Delta 8 gummies, since I get a discount at the store. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to work there. I need the money and their products, but this last week has been difficult to work through my pain and not show it to customers. Can’t take D8 at work, or Tramadol.

So I come home and take stuff for pain and nothing gets done around the house or yard and I can’t stand up long enough to cook. At the pool I’ve gone from pushing myself to do cardio to just trying to use the pool to help alleviate pain with slow stretches. With my glucose at 116 I have to lose weight, but exercise brings on more pain so eating different is going to have to work.

Exercise Hurts | Funny Workout" Poster by BootsBoots | Redbubble

I wonder how many times I’m going to burn and cut myself with this food prep while on Tramadol? Maybe I should just take out stock in these keto bomb meal replacement bars. I am SO very grateful to Rebecca Strong Schultz for coming to help clean the house last week. Hmmm, who wants to come help do food prep? LOL, naw, that would have to be weekly and Who can afford that? It’s OK to let the house and yard work go for a while, only I know how long the floors go without a mopping. No one else needs to know. Just know, the next time you see dirty kids in a store or drive by a yard that needs cleaned up or mowed that you have no idea what those people might be dealing with: pain and/or mental health issues. Try not to judge and maybe donate to a local nonprofit. Pain sucks.

Fu*king Hackers!

Really? Pictures, Photos, and Images for Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and  Twitter

In mid-September ALL of my bank accounts were hacked, including those for my minor son. Savings, checking, debit card were all hacked and they took $3,000.

Month and a half later I am STILL waiting for the bank’s fraud department to get it all figured out AND the same fucking hackers tried to get me again on Monday.

These “guys” are good. The bank can’t even figure out if they hacked my debit card first or went straight to my actual accounts. They called me using an actual number the bank uses so there was no way for me to know it wasn’t a call from the actual bank. They then sent me texts to confirm by sending me a code. So this all seemed like my bank. This is phishing.

6 sure signs someone is phishing you—besides email - Malwarebytes Labs |  Malwarebytes Labs

Now the bank thinks they probably hacked into my gmail account, so that’s how they knew the last 4 digits of my checking account and the exact amount of a recurring payment that I get from Social Security Disability each month on the same day. I have my bank accounts set to send me an email for any deposits, use of my account, transfers, etc. So they probably read those emails.

Can 'Hacking Back' Be An Effective Cyber Answer?

For how long? How long ago did they start watching me? They must have hacked my passwords, too. I really feel violated. I have no idea IF they got my social security number or not. Identity theft really sucks.

In the last month and a half I’ve had to change my username and passwords for any online sites, accounts, etc where I ever used any banking 3 times! I am really very tired of coming up with passwords. Getting inventive, though.

How To Hack A Bank Account - INVESTMENT GRAFFITI

It must be a nice career using all your time illegally taking money from others. Being low-income, why would they take MY money?! It was all I had. Yes, $3,000 was all my money. Why don’t they take money from those who can afford it? Ya, I know, that’s harsh, but I’m on disability because I have chronic pain and medical issues. All this stress had made my pain worse.

I don’t think hackers care about the people they hack at all. They have no humanity.

Go out and get a real f’ing job, assholes. Or go to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect anyone else’s $200.

FAQ: What is the Difference Between Jail and Prison? - Prison Fellowship
Go To Jail Monopoly Mixed Media by Jas Stem