I’m going to let you all know what happens to me this month. Chronic Pain Month. Yes, I live with daily pain in my feet, knees, hips, back, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, and fingers. The severity of the pain goes up and down, but it’s there. Every. Damn. Day. For my son, too.

So I do try to do things to help myself. I use proper body mechanics, do physical therapy, take pills for pain and spasms so I have some quality of life. However, those things don’t always help. Like today. I went to the pool. Did my routine, which really is just simple stretches and lifts and I use pool therapy plastic “dumbells” and/or pool noodles. It always feels good to get in the water. The weightlessness and warmth is wonderful. When I’m done I often sit with the spa’s jets aimed on my achy parts. Ahhh, heaven. Usually I feel energized for a while afterwards and/or have less pain for an hour or so. Not today.

I got in the shower and raised my arms over my head to wash my hair and WHAM; incredible pain screamed through my back/side. What to do? Stop the shower only half washed? That is always an option, but I pushed through the pain and finished. By the time I walked to my car it was throbbing. Getting INTO the car again caused wrenching pain. Driving, hitting bumps, going into turns: PAIN. Did I go home so I could relax and take pills? Not yet. I had a responsibility to take care of.

I “work” for Rover. A pet-sitting service and I had a pet to go to. For the fee I am supposed to feed, play with, and/or take care of waste. For at least half an hour. Could I just drop in, check on things, and leave early? Sure the clients aren’t home to know how long I stay. But I KNOW. I pride myself on being reliable. Playing with this pet caused more spasms and pain, but I need the money. And, I love these animals. I get love back from them and that feels wonderful. Pretty sure today’s pet knew I was in pain. She sat on my lap more than she’s ever done before so we could just be. Many humans don’t understand or notice or care when someone is in pain, but animals know.

I finally got home, took a pain pill and a muscle relaxer, and put food in the oven for my son. A frozen lasagna. That was not my plan. I had planned to cook up some chicken and make a nice homemade meal. I’ve been “trying” to do this low carb diet, but tonight just wasn’t going to let me do veggie prep or stand for longer than a few minutes at a time, even on the pills. So the old standby; frozen food. My son’s reaction? “Ya, that’s our life. We can’t make plans.” Plus, lasagna is his favorite food.

Since I don’t think lasagna is on a low carb menu I ate popcorn. Not going to cook or prep anything for me. Just need to sit. Just need to sit and not move. I hope whatever I did to cause this latest exacerbation abates by morning so I don’t have to take pills to get through work tomorrow. I might work in a CBD store that sells Delta 8, but no way can I take it at work! To be able to get to sleep tonight though it will feel wonderful.