No Longer On Call

I don’t have the right to cry. Right? When a woman has allowed herself to be used, per her choice, does she have the right to feel like shit?

We tell ourselves we know what we are doing. We tell ourselves we are big girls and old enough to make our own decisions. We tell ourselves we are independent. We tell ourselves that we can take care of ourselves. We tell ourselves that we too can have a relationship where there is just sex and no strings attached. We tell ourselves we can do anything a man can do. We tell ourselves lies.

Is it really a case of; what’s good for the goose is good for the gander? Can we do it? Can a woman really just have sex without involving feelings and emotions? I’ve heard some guys say men can be friends with women and not think of them in a sexual way, and I’ve heard some men say it’s impossible-that men can’t be JUST friends with any woman; they HAVE to think of them in a sexual way at some point. So, for men can sex just be sex even if you’re a friend too, or if you have sex with a friend does it ruin the friendship for sure?

What about the boy toy? Can a woman just have a guy she calls just for a booty call, or will she eventually develop some sort of feelings for the guy or think it’s some sort of friendship?

What I’m getting at is: why the hell does a woman eventually feel cheapened somehow by all of it and guys don’t? Why does a woman still feel lonely after a night of meaningless sex, and guys don’t give a fuck? Why do guys think less of the woman who is the booty call and go on looking for Miss Right? Why do women demean themselves and do the booty call and hope maybe this guy will like me when they really know what the hell it is? Why is it OK for guys to do whatever they want and get applauded for it by other guys, but women get called sluts by guys and women both? Why is sex so confusing?

Why does everyone just have to be made so lonely and made to jump through hoops and feel like shit. Hell, people kill themselves over this stuff. Why is this so hard? Someone has made all this into a game, and it’s not very funny. This big cosmic joke isn’t making anyone laugh. Finding someone to love should be fun. There should be laughing and fun.

Different cultures and different countries have different ways of doing all this. There are places where sex is revered. Sex can be magical. Sex can be sacred. It can bring you to the heights of mystical places if you are with the right partner, you are relaxed, and you can thoroughly enjoy yourselves. It doesn’t have to be a rush job that lasts 10 minutes. There are ways to even make orgasms last for over half an hour or more.

Fewer people are even having sex these days. OK, so the teens are still “hooking up,” but even the college age crowd are hooking up less frequently. The days of free love from the 1960’s are definitely over. It seems everyone is just too cynical about love and relationships. Gee, I wonder how that happened. It couldn’t be all the games that people play, could it? Well, I’m not playin’. This chick is tired and lonely. Been used and abused for too long. Game over.

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